It's funny how we can check our reflections in the mirror a few hours before we are about to head out and be really impressed and proud of what we see. Often think, 'Shit, who wouldn't wanna a piece of this?'
And as the time draws closer to the time of our departure from the safety of our houses, we are still able to catch glimpses of our reflection and puff up like bullfrogs still with a complete guiltless vanity. The time continues to tick away and the promise of what that night will bring all thanks to our fantastic looks excites and escalates us to a dizzy degree and as we add the final touches to our persons; a sprinkle of perfume there, a dab of lippy here we begin to notice tiny things.
Is that a pimple starting to sprout above my eyebrow? .....meh, no matter. I still look hot.
Dab dab, pull on shiny new shoes, pluck off dog fluff, run fingers through newly clean hair. Turn to mirror.... smile.
Ohh, my teeth look so yellow! Must have been from that coffee I had this morning.
Check time. Nearly time. Check reflection.
Face looks different. Did some of the makeup get washed off when I brushed my teeth?
Apply more makeup. Add more hairspray to hair. Adjust bobby pins.
Check profile in full-length mirror. Notice creases in jacket. Doesn't matter.
Time. Shit! Better add more mascara.
.........And more eye liner..
........Need more blush....
.....oh!! My neck looks so white!! Needs makeup!!
Reflection is scrutinised mercifully until time is checked. Oh my gawd! I'm late.
Grab things and rush towards door. Stop. Check reflection in hallway mirror. Mascara is already starting to run! Imagine what it will look like by the time I even get there!! Shit shit shit!
Get tissues. Dab at eyes. There's too much blush! I look like a fucking clown!
Dab Dab. I'm so late!
Take one last look at reflection. I'm hideous.
Turn face away, drop head. I'll make up for it with my personality. Looks are nothing. It's all about personality. I just hope that HE knows that.
Start towards door. What if HE doesn't? What if HE doesn't see my personality? Only the pimple above my eyebrow, the heavy make-up..... Oh my god!!! The dog fluff on my dress! HE'll think I'm just some stupid, butch farm girl that is so desperate and lonely won't need sweet talking to win over; just a good slap on the butt as a sign of affection just so she won't have to die alone with her sheep.
Slam Door. I'm hideous.
Walk to car. Who'd want me?
Get in. Slam door. I don't need anyone. I'm just gonna get maggotted tonight and everyone else including HIM can just go fuck themselves.
I hate the way we can feel beautiful till we step outside.... or the photos from that night show up on facebook.
Can't wait for adolescence to end.